by Minnie Apolis
Notice: This article is For Your Eyes Only!
I was suddenly shocked to pieces at the devious way that Hollywood has been trying to condition us into making nice with the Russkies!
Just by looking at the photo illustrations, it becomes obvious to the viewer that Hollywood wants us to think of Mr Vladimir Putin as the hero, just like Mr Lookalike Craig is the hero of the James Bond movies. But to me, they look like they could both be working for SMERSH! That makes it SO confusing for me, as a member of the film-going audience. How am I supposed to know whether I am supposed to cheer for this guy playing Bond. Is he really on our side or what? He could be an imposter planted by the enemy -- with a plan to shoot the president or something!
Case in point: First, take a gander at this photo. I have labeled it "Villain" in case you are unaware of the identity of that face.
Next, a photo of Mr Daniel Craig, taken at some kind of press conference or announcement regarding one of the James Bond films. Note that there is a strong resemblance between Mr Craig and Mr Putin. Almost like one of those Separated At Birth pairings. Uncanny, isn't it?
And finally, a few assorted photos of both in one collage. Separate them out. Aside from the age difference, there are few differences. Dark suits. Smallish eyes. Close-cropped hair. High forehead. Vaguely threatening or downright cold expression.
I dare ya to print out the collage and show it to your friends! Ask 'em to sort out who is whom. Which one is the Man With the Golden Gun? Which one is the Spy Who Loved Me? I could picture either one of them swaggering down the aisle in the Russian duma, or in Casino Royale playing baccarat.
Do you want to drink a beer with either of these guys? Do you want to put a gun in the hand of either of them? Should either of them have a License To Kill, or to do anything else for that matter? The ultimate question is of course "Do you trust either of these men?" Personally, they both scare The Living Daylights out of me!
The thing about the successful Bond actors is that deep down, we did trust them to do the right thing in the cause of -- oh, I don't know now, the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, or at least the pursuit of bikinied freedom-loving babes.
But it does make you wonder if it is possible that we might one day see a movie about the CIA substituting a body double for a Russian leader. (You Only Live Twice, you know) Come to think of it, that sounds like something the CIA might actually do, or have already done! But that's another story.