By Minnie Apolis, Eyewitness Reporter
In an appearance that shocked millions if not billions of residents of planet earth, the sun aka Sol rose in the East as usual on the day of doom suppposedly prophesized by ancient Mayans.
The first rays of light poked bravely over the horizon about 7:30 am Central Time, and shone brightly on a landscape newly coated with fresh snow. The light was dazzling. There could be no mistake, the sun had actually risen once again, despite a plethora of predictions to the contrary. News experts were for once speechless.
Disappointed Rapture enthusiasts cursed God for abandoning them to a sinful planet.
Disappointed doomsayers claimed they had made some miscalculation and that the real doomsday would be released as soon as they determined the correct date.
Disappointed partiers shrugged and partied on. They seemed least upset with the turn of events.
Cable news sites replayed tape of the sunrise over and over to the gasps of viewers just rising from their beds, rubbing their bedheads over why there was light shining through bedroom curtains.
Google Earth caught thousands of earthlings stumbling out into their front yards to gaze at the sunrise and bathe in the almost mystical rays of a new Mayan cycle.