Heartless Logic: Getting Beaten by Your Husband Is an Excuse to Deny Ins. Coverage

Some are powerless to leave. Abusers cut off all ties between the person they are abusing and their friends, family, religious connections, and typically financial earning power and control over finances. Mine wasn't satisfied until he cost me my job making me dependent on him in order to eat. Over time, your mind bends to cope with the abuse. Many victims rely on substance abuse to help them cope with the situation, clouding judgment and relieving pain. After awhile, you find yourself bending over backwards to do everything just 'so' to prevent further abuse. Of course, a physically violent partner will always find a reason to strike, so you will never outthink all the possibilities that will leave you with a black eye, multiple bruises, broken bones and head injuries. It is only by the grace of God that I am still on the planet. He certainly did everything he could to make sure I wasn't. He often told me he would bury me in concrete and no one would ever find me. You are correct, of course, but logic doesn't inhabit the domestic violence world often until it's too late. And how many times do you read about a woman who left the relationship, divorced the man, and he still came back and killed her in front of her children or killed the children too?

Abuse doesn't start with a violent battering. It begins with isolating the victim, with emotionally abusing her and with cutting off all avenues of escape. Some abusers remain at this level. Others escalate into physical violence.

When an abuser is threatening to murder you, your children, friends, family and pets, when they vow to track you to the end's of the earth, that's a powerful incentive to stay. All a victim has to do is pick up a newspaper to know that these men mean what they say.

70% of women who are murdered by their intimate partner are murdered when they try to escape his control. So let's not pretend this is the victim's fault or that there is a simple solution for her. "Just leave" him means risking the lives not only of yourself but everyone you love. I don't know anyone in a captive situation that doesn't remain in captivity when the only other choice is death.

I'm glad to hear your cousin escaped safely and has built a better life. I'm sure it was hard for her, so her results speak to her courage. That's something we need to credit to victim's of abuse: their tremendous courage whether they stay or escape. Either option takes mettle and endurance. True grit.

Thanks, Minnie. I will express my displeasure to the governors of those states, although they have no reason to care what I say. Some of these states fall into my province for church though, and since I'm a delegate to the convention I will definitely be bringing this up to the Bishops of those states. Women's rights are one of our Millennium Development Goals.

You know MinnieApolis, North Carolina has a female governor.

That would affect a submission of a presented service. Every person's history affects thier insurance. This particular topic is sensitive due to nature of the victimization. My rates will likely go up due to my position/job.

When my life is in a relatively low stress cycle, my weight is no problem. High stress has the opposite affect. My job ties me to a desk 8-10 hours a day, the corruption in the organization results in a majority of that time spent ensuring at least 2 if not 3 levels of male supervisors appear more competent than they are all making 20k to 60k more a year than I creating stress for which now the job is going to penalize me. (Yes I search often for other employment, not very abundant opportunities now.)

The answer is very difficult to find. Is it unfair to penalize a victim of domestic abuse due to her increased medical costs? Seems unfair to me. Is it unfair to penalize people who are overweight whether they have increased medical costs or not? Can't say that is unfair because we are all just lazy and overweight because we won't get off our fat a@@es and do something about it. (Regardless of circumstance)

On the other hand, is it unfair to increase costs to those who have no red flags associated to excess medical? Yep, that's unfair too.

The problem is in excessive medical costs of providers, excessive and exorbitant monetary payouts in medical lawsuits and insurance flaws.

I don't have a problem with personal responsibility though. I see no problem with a habitually poor driver paying a higher insurance rate than a good one, which makes topic difficult for me. It feels like playing both sides of the fence. How can I support higher insurance rates for poor drivers over good drivers and not support higher insurance rates of higher risk medical cases over lower risk medical cases without being discriminatory?

That proposal is a smoke screen designed to keep the insurance companies happy. What difference does it make if you by Blue Cross in one state or another? They're both the same company. But if enough of the public is fooled into writing to their representatives, then the insurance companies win again.